When your loved one is diagnosed with cancer, there may be changes in family roles and routines.

Adjusting to change and shifting roles

When your loved one is diagnosed with cancer, there may be changes in family roles and routines. Cancer is not just one stressful event to be dealt with and moved past – it is a series of changing situations and demands.

You may need to:

  • talk to your employer about what’s happening at home and that you may need extra time off
  • talk to your bank about changing financial commitments to make them more manageable
  • check what help you might be entitled to through your medical insurance
  • talk to the school about what’s happening and the possibility of changes in routine if you have young children

When your loved one is diagnosed with cancer, there may be changes in family roles and routines.

The person with cancer may not be able to manage all their usual roles and tasks. They may now be more dependent on you. You may have to take on roles that don’t come easily or that you find hard to manage.

Supporting the person with cancer to do things they are still able and want to do is important.


At first, a shift in roles may be difficult for you both.
Talk together about how you are both coping with
these changes. This may include doing less housework, simplifying tasks where possible or accepting offers of help from friends or family/whānau. Often supporters feel frustrated because their usual standards cannot be met. It can be helpful to talk to each other about this, and discuss what is most important. What you may value as important may not be to the person with cancer. Remember to be kind to yourself and keep things manageable.

Last updated: January 9, 2023