I never thought I would be the one in three.
James and I were friends for about a year before we got together. I really liked him but I didn’t know if he liked me, and he didn’t know if I liked him! We did this little dance for about two years, so when we got together it was really exciting. It didn’t take long for James to propose, and for us to start planning our wedding.
We had less than a year together before my symptoms started. In July 2024, I started getting a pain in my chest. I went to the doctor, and she said it was probably reflux, so we tried a range of medications that didn’t work. I asked to do a scope, but they wouldn’t do it because I didn't have the correct symptoms to qualify. I knew something was wrong, with symptoms continuing for four months, but it was awful feeling like people were thinking I was a hypochondriac.
The pain progressively got worse, and I was having trouble swallowing. Then I started getting really nauseous, which finally qualified me to get a scope five months after my symptoms started.
On the day of my scope, I was just so relieved to be getting it done. The surgeon came in and was really jolly. But when they did it, the picture was all cloudy, and he went completely silent.
Straight afterwards, he brought me and James into a room. He looked really shocked and that’s when we knew it was serious. He told us the diagnosis: a locally advanced squamous cell carcinoma of the oesophagus. He started talking about surgery, chemotherapy and radiotherapy, and that’s when it really hit me. My first thoughts actually went to our wedding, because everything was planned and booked.
The doctor’s plan was to do chemotherapy, then we'd have our wedding, then I’d do the operation straight after that. We realise now, that was because they couldn’t predict what would happen.
We had a couple of weeks waiting for chemo, which was a crazy time. I remember going to work, and nobody knew apart from my boss. It was like an out-of-body experience having this knowing inside me, and everyone just carrying on as normal. I went through phases where I cried and cried in the garden, at the shops, wherever. We’d gone from such an exciting time to suddenly a really terrible one. It felt like everything was caving in.
One day, I started choking on some food. It just wouldn’t go down, and that was really scary. The tumour had got so big that food couldn’t go down. So they put a nasal feeding tube in, and I lost a lot of weight really quickly. They got me onto six weeks of chemo soon after that, and even though I got really sick, we kept planning for our wedding.
In January 2025, we got married. It was amazing! The nasal tube came out, I got an incredible wig, false eyelashes, false everything, but you couldn't tell.
I could feel like a princess for one day, and we had a week’s honeymoon before coming back for surgery four days later.
Surgery involved taking the oesophagus completely out, pulling the stomach up, and reattaching it so you end up with a stomach that’s like a tube. The operation ended up being 17 hours long, because the kidney swelled up so much from chemotherapy, it was hard to pull the stomach past it.
After the operation, I had a really difficult time. My neck got infected, and the incision wouldn’t heal properly. I remember waking up from one operation and being unable to hold in saliva, so it was coming out everywhere. I was completely freaked out. One day I took off my dressing and saw a black hole in my throat. The second round of chemotherapy had caused the wound to enlarge. It was really emotional, and I was worried I would end up having a permanent hole.
I was quite self-conscious about the nasal tube and bandaging as well, so we didn’t go out much, and if we did, people often stared at me. I also wasn't allowed to eat or drink for six months, and when you can’t really do anything, it makes you realise the little things that bring you joy – even just going out for a coffee or sharing a meal. When my neck did heal, and I was able to eat again, I was so excited. But my oesophagus was so tight that food would come back out again. It really hurt, and I had many awful experiences of that.
Throughout it all, we were grateful to have amazing people around us, as well as the support from Cancer Society Wellington.
When I was first diagnosed, someone from the Cancer Society contacted me and talked about all the things they could offer. As quite an independent person, asking for help was a big change, but we realised we just couldn’t get through it all alone. From then on, whenever I asked for help, the Cancer Society was always there.
I started seeing one of their counsellors, Jade. She was just brilliant. She totally got it and came from a neutral space. In the early stages I was seeing her once a week. She was with me through the whole process of the diagnosis, operation, and adjusting back to normal life – up until quite recently. My mum also started counselling over in Masterton, because she really struggled with everything. She even went to some of the local Cancer Society events and get-togethers, and that really helped her as well.
I went to a few of the Cancer Society coffee meetings, too. It was really good getting to meet other people who understood what it's like. When I went, I was further along in my acceptance of it, so it felt good to be able to give something back to those who were feeling really fearful.
And it sounds like such a little thing, but the free parking across from the hospital was amazing as well. It was so helpful for all the times we were rushing to hospital, and it was available for our family too.
Then I joined the Cancer Society’s Dragon Boating team. That opportunity came at exactly the right time because I wanted to get back into fitness and being social, but I felt quite self-conscious. With the team, there was a knowing that we had all been through something. No one stared, they only smiled, and it gave me new confidence. It was the first time in so long that I felt ‘normal’.
Eventually, I was told that I was cancer-free. I’m at work full time, back into my fitness, and we have an active social life. We know how lucky we are to have made it through everything, and it’s good to know that if anything else ever comes up I’ve got somewhere to turn with the Cancer Society.
I’d never imagined that I would get cancer in my 40s. I had always lived a healthy lifestyle, so even when I started getting my symptoms, cancer didn't even cross my mind.
Although the cancer is gone now, I feel like it’s never really over – I’ll always be a cancer survivor. It was an experience that was extremely traumatic, but it also changed me as a person, and showed me what courage and hope I have. What stands out, too, is the kindness we were shown by so many people. Everyone who donates to the Cancer Society is part of that, and your support was a real gift in my life.
When you’re donating to the Cancer Society, you’re giving to so many different services that are meaningful to so many different people. But I think really, everything they do boils down to making people feel less alone – taking away the isolation and making someone feel supported.
Having that acceptance and care is worth so much, and anything you can give keeps on giving to someone who really needs it now!